INTERVIEW: Brian Longwell fingers evildoers

Oh, the wicked things comedian Brian Longwell does with crude stick drawings and an old-school overhead projector.

In his one-man show “Is Dick Cheney Evil?" the 30-year-old (in New York City years) delivers a presentation that pokes fun of the GOP while deconstructing the American political system using pizza as a metaphor.

Don’t ask.

Exactly one month before making the rounds at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland, Longwell comments on his greatest fear, his disdain for “trust fund pricks” and how he would like to kick the bucket … in a state of post-coital bliss.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Increasing happiness.

What is your greatest fear?
Decreasing happiness.

What is the trait you most deplore?
Entitlement, you get to see a lot of that in New York.

Which living person do you most admire?
Well, I'm going to pretend this guy is still alive: Richard Feynman. The guy won a noble prize for physics, had an insatiable curiosity about everything, was a complete free spirit and was a notorious prankster.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Living in Manhattan.

What is your favorite journey?
Riding my bicycle to the beach.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Piety.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
'I don't know,’ ‘I'm not sure,’ ‘I think I've heard of that,’ "Maybe’ and ‘I'm sorry, you're breaking up.’

When and where are you most comfortable?
After a show that goes well and everyone is heaping praise on me.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Charisma.

What is your current state of mind?
I'm lucid.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Fewer people. There were 8 of us and I was the sixth. It was like ‘Lord of the Flies.’

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My daughter.

What do you consider your greatest failure?
That I have no TV credits.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Irrelevance.

What is your dream job?
I sort of have it, but just need to be doing it more. Besides doing my current political show, I do corporate functions as a ‘non-motivational, non-inspirational’ speaker or as a fake speaker. I love it.

What is your most striking characteristic?
Probably that people can have a hard time reading me offstage.Other than that, I’m a bit of a free spirit and have done some interesting things in my life so far.

What is the quality you most like in other people?
Non-manipulative charisma.

What do you most value in friends?
Intellectual curiosity and dependability.

Who are your heroes?
People that are self-made and haven't become pricks.

What is it that you most dislike?
Trust fund pricks.

How would you like to die?
When I'm in my 90s, shortly after a great show and right after having sex.

Sam Baltrusis has worked for MTV, VH1, Seventeen, Newsweek and as a regional stringer for The New York Times. He's currently an online journalist with WHDH-TV, Channel 7 News in Boston.